doggy love.

meet chopper. he's my sister's boyfriends dog. he was at our house for christmas. i love dogs that play fetch so i love chopper. the picture below was taken when he was under the table begging for food. lol. he didn't get much.

when i was little i went camping with my dad to a national park. the people next to our campsite had a border collie, and they would play fetch with their dog. i thought to myself, hmm i want a border collie that plays fetch when i'm older.

one of these days (or a couple of years) i'm going to get a dog, a border collie to be exact. i love love love dogs. my dog, buster, passed away a couple months ago. it was very difficult for my family and me.

my family is thinking of getting a new dog, but i think it will be a while before we do. maybe next year for christmas i'll get my parents a new dog? ;)

winter camping!

i went camping with my dad, sister, and brother a couple days ago to canyonlands national park. it was so much fun. at times it was a little cold, but it wasn't anything we couldn't handle ;)

the views were breathtaking.

this picture was taken by the self timer. it's a little fuzzy, but it's my favorite.

isaac... i love him to death.

and bekah, haha, made me laugh all the time.

all i can say is wow...

the contrast of the sky and desert was magnificent.

the kids :)

i got to climb on top of the arch... i loved every minute of it.

our dad was so nice to take time to go camping with us. he's the best dad ever. i love him.

it is not what it seems...

merry christmas! (even if it is a couple days late.)
i had an amazing christmas! oh wow, it was so good! i have the best family in the world! it's a sad thought that it's all over. but now i have something to look forward to next year :)

a picture of me, hannah, isaac, bekah, and chopper.

isn't my mom gorgeous? i love her so much.

my brother wanted ninja stars... lol.

he got a new snowboard, too! lucky boy.

i made this poster for my sister, hannah. i had to be creative given the fact that i don't have much money. i hope she liked it...

and no, i'm not pregnant. my sister's and i took some goofy pictures for our sister, naomi. she is pregnant, and wasn't able to come home for the holidays. we sure do miss her.

christmas is my favorite holiday. everyone is so nice and friendly. i love it.

tron...

my friends flight was cancelled this morning due to weather. she had an extra day here so we decided to see tron. ok, can i just say that tron is an amazing movie? i loved it. i watched the old one a couple weeks ago, which was helpful because when i first saw the trailer for tron i had no idea what it was about. it was good to have some kind of background information about the plot. it was so good. the music was awesome! i bought it when i got home. yeah, it was that good.

i've decided i'm going to take my brother to see it in 3D. it's going to be epic.

cannot wait.

oh, i go home tomorrow. win.

finished.

i have completed my first semester of my sophomore year in college. my last final was this morning. i am done and it feels amazing.

it has been snowing all day. i like the snow, but it can be annoying. i don't want my flight home to be delayed or cancelled. that would be horrible. last year my flight was cancelled twice. and yes, it was awful. i have been praying all day for good weather the next couple of days. hopefully the weather will improve. my fingers are crossed!

i have nothing to worry about tonight. no more classes until next year. how awesome is that? i feel like i should be studying, but i don't have to. it's a weird feeling.

i get to go home soon. (hopefully.)

everyday is special

today has been great. i had a final for my classics of western literature class at 8am and it went... ok? ha. we shall see. afterwards i worked out for an hour (it felt great, let me tell ya.) i hung out with some hilarious people while trying to study. more talking took place than studying, but that's too be expected ;) i was supposed to have a health and wellness final at 3, but since i had an A i din't have to take it. amazing! everything paid off, no? i think yes :)

i've been thinking about my future. i do have some big decisions coming up that are life changing. so of course, future plans are on my mind. i honestly have no idea what i want to do. argh. it's hard not knowing. i want to help people. one of the reasons is because it's what makes me happy. i'm all for doing what you love to do even if that something doesn't give you deep pockets. it's important to do what you enjoy. it will make you happy.

but anyways. i have lots to think about. i'll figure something out sooner or later. hopefully sooner.

i'm going to enjoy finding my passion.

i'm going through some difficult things right now. because this is a blog i'm not going to write anything too personal. it's so hard to describe how i feel. so much emotion and confusion. i live in a world i'm not a part of and you know what? it sucks. each day is a struggle. a huge one. life shouldn't be like that. i know i will struggle, but to feel like this everyday shouldn't be happening. struggling each day with the same things is not the way i want to live my life. i see people and they seem to have their lives in total control. of course it's not prefect, but it appears that way. there's an ideal person i want to be. so what's stopping me from becoming that person?

right now i feel angry. i don't know what's causing this anger, but it's annoying. i need to pinpoint the cause before i go insane. it's driving me crazy.

but anyways. i'm going to be positive about everything. everything. my negative attitude is going to disappear.

ookk.

let's do this.

beautiful.

i am going to take a step back from life and its craziness and just enjoy the sunset.

we live in a beautiful world.

oh wow.

i give up on life.

as of right now i just want to curl up in bed and never get out. seriously. i know this is unreasonable, but it sounds amazing right now.

oh wow. i'm frustrated with myself right now.

argh. it's all me. it always has been.

i'm stopping myself from being happy. why am i doing this to myself?

i just can't see the bigger picture.

it is time to change. really, it is time.

the decision is all mine

"be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man" -Benjamin Franklin

this quote is exactly what i need to hear. i know what my vices are and weaknesses are, which is a good thing. but sometimes they just seen so powerful and i feel like i can't overcome them. my struggle with my vices and weaknesses will always be there. i will always be dealing with them. but since i am aware of them i will know what i need to work on.

i know it's not the new year, but that doesn't mean goals are out of reach. i can set them now on this lovely day in october. change is always needed.


this doesn't have anything to do with goals, but who cares? :)
can i just say how grateful i am for my body and the many incredible things it's capable of? it is truly amazing. it can adapt to new situations so fast. oh wow, so mind blowing. i feel honored that God would trust me with such an amazing gift. i am so grateful for it. i want to take care of it because after all, it's not mine.

it's difficult.

the last couple of days have been hard but i've realized that change is possible. i have everthing i need for it. it's just a matter of me not giving in to the present moment. friends habits can become your habits very easily and this is something i need to be fully aware of. i remember i was watching a show once and a guy said, "if you start hanging out with losers, you'll become losers." now, i am not saying my friends are losers but i am acknowledging that i will pick of traits from my friends whether it's a bad or good thing. i need to be mindful in everything

i need to continue to have a positive attitude. i can do anything. i have the power.

power within us

we as human beings have the power to either make this life amazing or do nothing with it. i have decided right now that it's going to be amazing. i'm going to make it amazing. i have the power to take control of my life and make the necessary changes that are needed. i am the only person stopping myself from anything. i need to change. change is a must. i can do. i really can. why do i give in so easily? why can i not see the bigger picture? why am i giving in to the present when i want things that won't come right now? why can't i see my body for the great machine it is? why can't i take better care of it? so many why's.

i am going to change for myself and to show my family that i can do it.

i'm not alone. no, i'm just on my own.

Nada.

Standing on the outside looking in, that is when you realize this life doesn't mean a thing.

nature.

after a long day at work, i love being able to exercise when i get home. i usually just end up taking my dog for a walk but anything counts. my dog, buster, is so gorgeous and he's the best dog ever. i love him. he's nice to take on walks besides the fact that he stops for pee breaks every 5 seconds. my neighborhood has the best scenery ever. really. the views are beautiful, especially when the sun's setting.

isn't the rainbow so pretty? i just had the camera on my phone and it isn't the best but it seemed to take a good photo, no? i tried to get the whole rainbow, but i was too close. better luck next time.

i love spending time outside. there is something about being in nature that i can't find anywhere else. it gives me peace and satisfaction that i always stand in need of in my life.

"we need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise or restlessness. God is the friend of silence. see how nature- trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the sun and the moon, how they move in silence... we need silence to be able to touch souls." -Mother Teresa

i believe that quote is accurately describing nature.

as of lately

i have been listening to the les miserables soundtrack. i love love love the book and the play. i saw the play when i was 8 years old and when i was 16. the story is so powerful and so are the lyrics.

here are some lyrics that i love.
from the song:

red and black- "it is time for us all to decide who we are... our little lives don't count at all."

on my own- "without him, the world are around me changes. the trees are bare and everywhere, the streets are full of strangers... i love him, but only on my own."

a heart full of love- "he was never mine to lose.... why regret what could not be... these are words he'll never say... not to be, not for me."

one more day- "i did not live until today. how can i live when we are parted? one more day with him not caring.... i was born to be with you."

finale- "come with me where chains will never bind you... all your griefs at last behind you... take my love, my love is everlasting.... and remember the truth that once was spoken, to love another person is to see the face of God"

a little fall of rain- "a little fall of rain can hardly hurt me know. you're here, that's all i need to know. and you will keep me close and you will keep me safe. and rain will make the flowers grow."

so happy.

i have been so stressed the last couple of days. the anxiety i feel is crazy. every minute and every second of every day is packed full to the limit. i have so many assignments and papers due. each week goes by so slowly. i still can't believe it's only wednesday.

but i only have to hang in there for 2 1/2 more weeks! and after that another month of classes. after that month is through i'll be flying home to utah!

before you know it i'll be home. but until then... it's study, study, study, study! i am taking a biology of women class and it is amazing! it's so interesting to learn all those amazing things about my body. every night before my roommates and i go to sleep, we have a discussion on some strange topic we have covered in class that day (all my roomates are in my class, too.) the conversations are usually very crazy. we enjoy it ;)

i really can't believe it's already may! my life is flying by me! i really want to live my life to its fullest. i want to enjoy every second of life! life is too short. i don't want to waste it away.

singin' in rain

i'm having a really good day today. i had an astronomy test today and i think it went well. at least i hope it went well. but anyway i'm done thinking about it. the weather has been so amazing and i want to spend all my time outdoors. it's getting hard to focus on school work. i only 3 weeks left until finals! it's so crazy how fast the year is going.

i've been thinking a lot about my life... and there are certains things i really want to change. i want to break some habits because i don't want to have those habits when i'm older. it's going to take hard work but i need to do it.

moving on...

i'm getting so excited for summer!!! there are so many things i want to do. ohh i can't wait!

the little things.

there is nothing more relaxing than being outdoors. our world is so amazing.

a new guide to life.

it doesn't matter how i felt yesterday because all of those days are gone. there isn't a need to be trapped in those memories because there's nothing i can do about them. i will get nowhere if i focus on them. yes, i can learn things from them but they are in the past. i can now focus on each day as it comes.

it is a brand new day with a new beginning.

few more hours until sunshine.

i cannot untangle what i'm feeling.

i'm happy this day is going to end soon.

it looks like what i want in life isn't possible at the moment.

where does the good go?

i'm ready for a new day. a fresh start.

i just need to keep telling myself that everything is worth it.

at least i hope so.

here's to life...

so many things have happened in my life that i wish hadn't. but i'm not going to go around complaining and telling everyone i see how horrible my life is. even if there are horrible moments, there are amazing and incredible moments. i want to focus on the good moments rather than the bad. i try to find the good moments even in the bad moments. there is good all around us. yes, sometimes it is hard to find, but if we look hard enough we will find it. people shouldn't be unhappy in life. it's meant to be enjoyed. each day is a blessing.

so here's to life...
all the times i've hated it
all the times i've loved it
all the times i've wished i was different
all the times i've wished my life was different
all the times i've cried over nothing

this is it. this is life.

let's just all be happy we're alive.

cool moves

i watched the karate kid today and it reminded me of this....

don't be jealous of our way awesome moves.

i don't need it

i miss the mountains.

sunday is always my day for deep thinking. this isn't always a good thing. i'm a little over whelmed with school and life and having this day to just think is really not helping. i have one week until spring break but that week is going to be crazy. i have a paper to complete, an astronomy test, and other assignments due. plus two tennis matches. i'm just over thinking things. i need to just focus on the present day instead of stressing on the next day. this has and will always continue to be my problem. i just need to relax and breathe. everything will be ok. in a week i'll be at a beach :). i can do this. life will always bring its problems. i need to just enjoy every minute of it before it's too late. well, there's a scary thought. cheers.

love this

tegan and sara are amazing. i was able to see them in concert a week ago... incredible!

it feels good...

... to know that i'm done with both my tests. it feels amazing.

now i can relax and start working on a paper that's due next week. gotta love life.

so alone

"I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion."

- Henry David Thoreau

just a little something

happy valentines day!

so i'm really getting into the olympics! i enjoy watching speed skating. well, mostly i enjoy watching apolo ohno. but no seriously, speed skating is my new favorite thing. all of the skaters have the strongest bodies. you can tell they take extremely good care of them. it's kind of inspiring. God has given us these amazing tools and i don't think people realize just how incredible they are. people put (including myself, unfortunately) disgusting things into their bodies daily. i really want and need to improve what i eat. cutting out processed foods is a good place to start. God has given me this amazing body and it's time i start taking care of it. so you now know what my new goal for the week is ;)

so my birthday's in a month...

... i'll be nineteen years old! wow. only one more year in my teens.

here is some of my art work i did during class.

this is my lovely tree and owl. i think they're way cool.


the olympics started! i love watching them. all the sports are so much fun to watch. plus there are so many attractive guys ;)

Seasons

summer...

... fall...

... winter...

here's to something.

what made me happy today? well, i can't think of anything. don't get me wrong, it hasn't been a bad day. but overall i can't think of a specific something hmm. oh wait here's one... i had two tests today and i'm happy they are over! astronomy and art history... hopefully they went well. i really studied so we will see.

here's a quote.... "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on." -Robert Frost.

i can say that i've learned that too.

happy sunday

i find sunday's extremely difficult to get through. and let's not forget that i find them boring. all day i have time to think about everything. today hasn't been that bad though, which is surprising.

i have set some goals that i would like to complete this week. hopefully i will be able to rock them ;) i am so bad at setting goals and actually achieving them. but tomorrow is always the start of something new.

let's see what's on my happiness journal...
i'm happy that it was sunny today!

HAPPINESS JOURNAL!

here's the deal...

everyday i'm going to write at least one thing that has made me happy.

life is meant to be enjoyed.

i need to stop focusing on the negative things in life and start focusing on the positive things.

there are so many wonderful things out there!

when i'm older i want to be able to think back and remember ALL the good things.

so here it goes...

one thing that made me happy today...

working out with my sister! i know that sounds really lame but it was amazing. i was so close to not going. it was snowing outside which meant i would have to walk the snow. i also didn't want my shoes or clothing to get wet (lame excuse, no?) i decided that i really needed a break from studying so bek and i went. the 35 minutes went by fairly fast. we watched college basketball... haha. good times ;)

there's my first one...

many more to come!

counting down!

this is what i was doing a year ago over presidents day weekend...

i was hiking in zion national park with my dad and sister.

this year i'll be going to a tegan and sara concert with some friends! i am oh so so very excited!

snow!

all of my classes were cancelled today because of a storm. this has been the best day ever!

i love snow so much so i'm pretty thrilled about it. some of my friends have never seen this much snow. that's crazy to think about.

isn't that the coolest and biggest snowman ever!?

sunshine is days away

today has been a very good day! two of my classes were cancelled because of the snow. yeah! with that extra time i have been able to work on my debate i will be involved in tomorrow. i'm not looking forward to it at all. i'm nervous and scared. but i have been working on it for a while so hopefully that will help.



i worked out for an hour today which felt nice. it didn't feel good at the time but now it does. i hate working out inside. time goes by so slow!

i really am liking the snow but i'm ready for summer. sunshine please!

things that matter

i love animals with a passion. when i'm settled in the future, i'm going to have a couple of dogs. fun!

i'm trying to look at things from a different angle. and you know what? it's working.

this is what my friends and i did with the fruit we took from the dining hall.

this is a snowman i built. i didn't know i was capable of making such lovely art work. look out world.

i'm trying to bring my life into clearer focus...

this is the start of a brand new day. this is the beginning of greatness. i want to be a positive that is always seeing the good in life.

i talked to my sister on the phone today and she gave me some advice. i have heard this from a lot of people but it really made a difference hearing it from her. she said, "take one day at a time and be positive. things that are meant to happen will happen. concentrate on the things you have control over and everything else will work out.